The one sure way to happiness

*happiness is the rarest, most prized and most misunderstood state of man. Actually lasting happiness depends on how much maturity a man has been able to assemble some of it derived from being desperately unhappy.

*it is a consequence of at least a moderate amount of education or training because happiness requires a decently stocked mind. It bound up with the ability to work , and to be readily interested in the world around you . It also is a part of an unembarrassed appreciation of leisure and of solitude.

*the relationship between happiness and maturity defeats the rationalization of many aging adults- that happiness is youth and naturally diminishes with time . Happy people can be any age.

*children are rarely happy ; they have flights of joy , but their helplessness in a restrictive adult world keeps them close to despondency . Until their personalities stabilize , a process generally completed after the age of 35 , they are likely to be wretched with self-doubts and dismay at their inner muddle.

*younger adults may describe themselves as “happy”; it's a serviceable word to protect privacy.but many of them are frantic at the acceleration of time they are beginning to feel .

*they can sense the years wheeling by without any substantial or satisfying accomplishment , grieving over their mistakes and wrong choices , they see old age as a catastrophe , a final bad joke on the false dream of being happy.

*yet all over the world , men and women most of them in their 30s are turning a corner that they didn't see and stand transfixed by the miracle of finding themselves happy.

*true happiness is unmistakable one woman compared it with the unequivocal quality of genuine labor pain. “when you're carrying your first baby “ she explained” you keep wondering what a labor pain is like .every time you have a cramp or twinge you wonder if this is it, then eventually you have a whopper of a labor pain, there is no question in your mind about it ; you know that this positively is the real thing. Well becoming happy is just the same.

*no one is born happy “happiness is not a gift of the gods it is an achievement , brought about by inner productiveness” a say for psychoanalyst.

*people succeed at loving , by building a liking for themselves for true reasons. hallow people , lacking any conviction of their worth and without self protect , have nothing to give a profoundly unhappy state . They must connive to secure love and administration for themselves and they can't depend on keeping it.

*unhappy people rarely blame themselves for their condition , their jobs are at fault , or their marriages or the vileness of parents or the meanness of fate. The real cause is incoherency of their lives, sterile and confused , they have no warmth to give, in work play or love, they wait in apathy for a visit from the fairy godmother and in the meantime try to distract their attention from the abyss of barrenness and boredom within them . The furthest notion from their minds is to improve their lot by tackling some self-reconstruction.

*[“the happiest person is the person who thinks the most interesting thoughts”] psychologist
*[“the richer the more highly developed the more completely unified or integrated is the personality , the more capable it is of sustained happiness in spite of inter current pains of all sorts”] psychologist